Girls are such retards
English A is doing my head in faster than Usain Bolt breaks World Records (Ha! How's that for a topical metaphor?!).
You see, she's met some guy and apparently he's asked her out for a few drinks and it's raining today and she's tired because she hadn't slept well last night and she can't decide what to wear because her purple top hasn't dried yet since she washed it yesterday and it's wet outside so she doesn't have shoes that will stay waterproof and match her handbag and he's supposed to meet her at the city centre so she has to take the subway to get in and she's not sure if she likes him enough to bother going that far to meet him but still he's rather cute so why not but OMG FOR FUCKS SAKE I WANT TO SHOVE HER HEAD INSIDE THE MICROWAVE AND SLAM IT SHUT REPEATEDLY TILL SHE STOPS TALKINGGGGGG.
Phew.
It pisses me off when people have these debates out loud to inflict their indecision on others. It pisses me off even more when girls get like this and then blame it on the boy, because English A ended her mumbling with 'Ah, bloody men! It's all their fault!' or something to that effect. No wonder (some) men think (some) women are idiots sometimes. I really feel like returning my X chromosome some days.
As for English A, I was tempted with the option of explaining to her that it's not the man's fault that she's a stupid cow for being unable to decide to keep a date OR just saying 'why don't you go over to Ann Summers and buy yourself an extra large dong with long-life batteries and STFU?'
But no, reason prevailed and I simply bit my tongue, smiled and tried not to indicate how I felt.
I really am a saint sometimes.
You see, she's met some guy and apparently he's asked her out for a few drinks and it's raining today and she's tired because she hadn't slept well last night and she can't decide what to wear because her purple top hasn't dried yet since she washed it yesterday and it's wet outside so she doesn't have shoes that will stay waterproof and match her handbag and he's supposed to meet her at the city centre so she has to take the subway to get in and she's not sure if she likes him enough to bother going that far to meet him but still he's rather cute so why not but OMG FOR FUCKS SAKE I WANT TO SHOVE HER HEAD INSIDE THE MICROWAVE AND SLAM IT SHUT REPEATEDLY TILL SHE STOPS TALKINGGGGGG.
Phew.
It pisses me off when people have these debates out loud to inflict their indecision on others. It pisses me off even more when girls get like this and then blame it on the boy, because English A ended her mumbling with 'Ah, bloody men! It's all their fault!' or something to that effect. No wonder (some) men think (some) women are idiots sometimes. I really feel like returning my X chromosome some days.
As for English A, I was tempted with the option of explaining to her that it's not the man's fault that she's a stupid cow for being unable to decide to keep a date OR just saying 'why don't you go over to Ann Summers and buy yourself an extra large dong with long-life batteries and STFU?'
But no, reason prevailed and I simply bit my tongue, smiled and tried not to indicate how I felt.
I really am a saint sometimes.
14 people quipped in...:
I feel your pain! I met lots like this in the army..should i shouldn't i's! Don't they just DO YOUR HEAD IN?
I am with you all the way..until the end...I'd have lost it and yelled something like: Just wear the f'ing xxxxx coloured one and BE GONE! Damned indecision grrrr!!
Yes my friend you truly are a SAINT!
Reading that sentence reminded me of the time I tried to read "Mrs. Dalloway". And it has reawakened the trauma associated with that memory - stream of consciousness ain't fun! - so I can sympathize! ;)
"I really feel like returning my X chromosome some days." <- this should be on a t-shirt.
And just FYI, I forwarded your post to the Pope, and he has pushed you ahead of Mother Teresa in the sainthood queue! W00t!
Hahaha when I saw the title of the post I thought "oh dear, must be about A...what has she done now?"...and then lo and behold, the post was about her! Maybe I really am psychic :D
With the 'should I shouldn't I' cases, my advice is usually "if the words shouldn't I are there, you probably shouldn't". I know the alternative is "if you don't, you'll never know"...but I'm happy not knowing.
However, in this case, I think there's a bigger issue. You do know that if you sit there like a saint the whole time, she's never gonna stop, don't you? You don't need to go ballistic (although that would feel better in the short term), but you could just calmly say "oh god you are an indecisive cow, aren't you? You'll be fine whatever you wear, just pick something convenient and bugger off" but say it in a big-sisterly way and grin so she doesn't think you're mad at her. Just a suggestion to lower your blood pressure :-)
I think the key is to not let it get to you...then if she does stop, it's a bonus...but if she doesn't, no fuss.
Aaah, to be 'home' again! She must be making up for the time lost when you were away.
OH just toss her out the top floor window and be done with it.
Oh maaaaaaan...
I know what you mean.. been there...
It can indeed get VERY annoying...
but the strange thing is, some guys think it's cute!!! argh!
She does provide exceelent entertainment! But I totally get what you mean!
haha missed the bitchy darwin ;)
Can't you just whip up some toxic cocktail of sorts and give it to her saying "This'll have the men coming after you like priests to little boys!"
Then you can whisper "And just like them, IN HELL WOMAN! IN HELL!! MAUAHAHAHA!!!"
Ahem...
Or just ignore her, I guess.
It doesn't sound like English A would be able to make a choice in Ann Summers. She either walk out having bought everything or nothing.
Darwin...despite knowing that this would be totally inconsequential to you...I couldn't stop myself! You sound entirely like my husband when pissed off! There it's off my chest now!
I like this blog :)
I found it through Jerry's, where- you had commented.
Nice.
And, yeah, I completely understand what you mean in this post- even though I have to say that men are not blameless, but I get how crazy something of that sort gets.
Gill: Really? I wouldn't have thought girly girls would be found in the Army of all places, or is that just a stereotypical misconception of mine? Heh I like your fiesty reaction though!
Antimatter: I've never tried Virginia Woolfe and I don't think it's my cup of tea :) Also, great idea for the T-shirt!
Pseudorandom: I knew you'd know it was about English A from the title :D. You're right though, I should probably try giving her some subtle hints that I'm not the best source for advice on these matters.
Java: Yup, I got a whole evening worth of gossip catch-up! To be honest I quite enjoyed that, hearing about all the scandals I missed whilst I was away. Heck, some of it is so juicy I might even blog it!
Dili: So easy isn't it?!
LD: Guys who think girls like that are cute deserve girls like that!
Scrump: I know, my blog would be a barren wasteland if not for her!
Sach: It's nice to be back!
Jerry: LOL I like your analogy!
RD: Haha good point. As long as she doesn't ask me for advice on that too!
Indyana: Your comment actually made me laugh! Thanks for that!
Mixedbleddings89: Thanks! Glad you liked reading it :)
Maybe, just maybe once in a while you don't have to grin and bear. Maybe you should tell her off (not everything in your head but a dialuted version of it) once or twice?
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