Bad Idea

You know that little voice in the back of your head that says it's a bad idea to attempt to cut your own hair?

Listen to it.

Seven Days!

Is it too much to ask for the fucking Mexican butt pirate next door to not keep thumping the wall when he is getting his fudge packing done? The walls are so damn thin that every moan, every sigh, every groan, (ugh this is the worst) every wet noise just sounds so loud when everything else is quiet. Last night I figured the only way to deal was to create a playlist on iTunes and have it on loop until morning. Featured artists include Opeth, Arch Enemy, Metallica and so on. I can't stand the fucking asshole (pun intended) and I keep telling myself it's only a few days more. 7 days to be exact.

If I don't kill the rump ranging sausage jockey first.

Yeah, in case you hadn't guessed, ranting Darwin is back.

No, before you speculate, The Boyfriend and I are far more discreet than this cockgobbling fuckwit. Trust me.

Here comes the sun

Weather in Glasgow has been positively amazing these past couple of days. I can actually wear skirts again. The skies are blue, the breeze is light, the birds chirp, the flowers are in bloom, everything is beautiful. This is all very cool.

Except that when the sun comes out it seems that the entire population of Glasgow decides to come out too. This is not cool at all.

You see, it's one thing to be out enjoying the weather, drinking in the fresh air and all that. It's quite another when you bring your whole fucking whiny brood in the double fucking prams and hog the entire sidewalk so that other people can't walk on it. It's not cool when you walk even slower than MIA's thought process when you hog the above-mentioned sidewalk. It's not cool when you take off your tops and grace everyone with your hairy man-boobs and flabby bellies. It's not cool when you wear so little clothes that all I see is a sea of fat splotchy white folk, sunbathing like beached whales. I'm all for seeing near-naked folk but the least you could do is try and hit the gym and tone up a bit before you decide to take everything off. It's not cool when it becomes a chore to walk outdoors simply because I know the crowds will piss me off within 10mins tops and take away whatever spring there was in my step. It's not cool when you smoke up and pollute the air for the rest of us who don't want to get fucking lung cancer. It's not cool when you get drunk on beer and then decide to relieve yourselves and piss at the nearest bush regardless of who else is there.

I wish it would start raining again. I hate this.